All The Lonely Hearts.

The loneliness is kicking in again. Never thought that I would feel like this over. Today and yesterday spelled "horrible". Really, got scolded by coach|lost the match to rjc|

can't sleep at night.

can't cry it out.

can't scream in peace.

Today, had no idea why the hole in my heart isn't closing in. I felt right yet so empty-just so out of place. I hate you. But wait, think oxymoron-I love you even more. I was okay, trust me, I was...yet I was not okay. Someone tell me why I am feeling like that.

I carried a smile, I blocked the tear, I psyched myself--I SUCCEEDED but why is it so easy to see through all of that?

-got ticked by physics tutor for being untidy & writing on my worksheet.

why can't I study the way that I like? If writing in my worksheet makes me understand so much better(direct reference, I would call it), why won't you let me?

So tired...exhausted...lethargic...of figuring you out.

,I will never ever hurt you.

,,I will always protect you.

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God, where are you these days?

I need sleep,

I need a long break,

a withdrawal from reality.