Lonliest Person On Earth

Im the lonliest person on earth, no doubt. Im really, really on the verge of snapping already. I wanna re-live secondary 4. When I sat at the back of the class with all my other people whom I can call friends or at least, that was what I thought. They didn't keep things from me. I wouldn't judge them because I know that they won't judge me, be it face-to-face or deep inside.

Le sigh...

I-WANNA-CRY.

My mom works till 7-8pm every night. And on fri,sat, sun, she'll work till 10-11 pm. fuck OTs.
& from end of school till 11, I'll have no one to hang out with, or really open up my heart to. cuz there isn't anyone to start with. So, I will hide in the room till late or till I fall asleep then come out after that when the house is dark. Then I'll have to wait for another 3-4hrs till my mom comes home.

my bro doesnt even care. neither does the rest of the world. I know Im sounding so emo now. but its really saddening to know that you have no one at all.

Am I that horrible a person?
I dont feel like a part of the school-at all. I dont understand lectures,& I hate the lecture system. Im suffocating. Intoxicating in the miserable fate of life, my life. & God loves watching me like that, don't you?